if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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