im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
