who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize