Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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