That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
