i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
