You were right. It hurts to walk today.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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