Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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