I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
