New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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