You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
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Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
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Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?