This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Dicks are not precious.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
