White coat. Heels.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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