3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
