Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
