This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize