Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She told me I should be a condom model.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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