and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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