I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
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He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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