Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
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It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
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I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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