I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
