What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
