if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
