I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
