If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
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i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
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The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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