How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
