I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
