I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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