Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
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