Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize