Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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