Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
