shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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