if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
