WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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