wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
