i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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