we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
