its not stalking. its research.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
