I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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