Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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