We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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