matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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