It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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