If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
