were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
