I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I have fence marks all over my body
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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