So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
