who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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