The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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