I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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