When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm too high and old for this...
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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