Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
