Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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