I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
