I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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