I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
