I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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