My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
