Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
