No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
