And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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