at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
